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  • April Y. Jones

Trust Me, There's More!

So, then there was the big "T" word! Yikes! There are so many important factors in a relationship and TRUST should definitely be on the top of that #RelationshipGoals list. It is so important to have, to keep and to exercise trust in relationships because when the trust is lacking, the relationship is not whole and more than likely will be full of troublesome days. Most times when people talk about trust in a relationship, they are referring to it along the lines of fidelity or infidelity. Fidelity is everything, but it ain't everything! There is more to trusting your mate than having anxiety about them cheating. Trust goes broad in relationships. Your mate can have all the confidence in the world that you are responsibly faithful and you might be, but they may still lack trust in other areas. Can your mate trust you enough to be vulnerable with you? Can they be open with their true thoughts and feelings and feel safe doing so? Are they able to rely on you for support? And can you do the same?


I don't want your relationship out here struggling, so trust me on this (pun intended). Let's talk about a few HOW-TO's to building that trust that will make your love place also a safe space for you and your partner.


Don't be Judgy

Lend grace and compassion to your partner when they are vulnerable. If your partner is feeling hurt, shame, guilt and other uncomfortable emotions do not judge them when they turn toward you for support. Show up for your partner on their terms during this time. Find out what your partner needs from you in that moment. Is it just for you to listen? Offer advice? Maybe it is just to sit in silence. Being there in the way that your partner needs you during a moment of vulnerability can help strengthen your bond with your partner and build trust.


Back Them Up!

Always have each other's back. You are on the same team, riding with each other, reaching goals together and growing together. Don't leave your partner hanging during times of stress, anxiety provoking situations or any time that they need you. Make yourself available and offer help where help is needed. Be the back up plan if that's what they need from you. Make sure your partner can trust that you have their back. In addition, know when to correct your partner or converse with your partner about a private matter. You know when to do that? Privately. Do not embarrass your partner by openly correcting or discussing things that make them uncomfortable in front of others. Doing so can for sure cause trust issues.


Fight Fair

Agree to disagree without shutting each other down, name calling, degrading each other and trying to win. You can have an argument or disagreement with your partner while remaining respectful and considerate. Be open to your partner's thoughts and feelings. Validate how they feel even if you are not agreeing. Saying hurtful things to your partner in the heat of the moment can cause scars and break trust in your relationship. If you are finding it extremely difficult to maintain your composure or refraining from verbal abuse during disagreements, please consider seeking the help of a professional therapist.


Feeling safe is important for the health of your relationship. Trust is the key to feeling safe and secure in your relationship. #RelationshipGoals


If you are looking to add something fun and intimate to your #RelationshipMood check out the latest addition to my store. The Make It Last #RelationshipGoalsCardGame. This game is not just a question game but is an interactive game that is sure to have you and your partner reaching some of those #RelationshipGoals. You can find them by visiting the shop page of the blog or go to www.aprilyjonestherapy.com/shop.


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