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  • Writer's picture April Y. Jones

Make It Last

Most people do not enter relationships with the mindset of breaking up but instead with the goal of being together and making it last. In the beginning, two people may give their 100% to making it last. They're on cloud nine, the relationship has so much passion and the resilience to repair any disagreements is close to immaculate. As time pass and complacency sets in or longevity open their eyes to the smallest of flaws and imperfections how do they make it last while generally maintaining a happy relationship? There is nothing cut and dry about that question.

Making a relationship last is not a one size fits all concept. One of the downfalls many couples make, is comparing their relationship to what other people's relationships look like. While there are couples who are transparent, bystanders aren't always privy to the reality of every couples relationship regardless of how appealing it may look from the outside. Two different individuals come together to form a unique relationship, therefore making it their own. Comparisons can kill many relationships. Individuals have different needs, wants and desires that they bring to relationships, some based on personal experiences and perceptions. What it means to love and to feel loved is not conclusive to all individuals and there is not just one definitive picture of what it looks like. Yes, a lot of happy relationships look the same and of course, there are similar and identical key factors to what contributes to the overall success of any relationship. However, to make it last, two individuals must focus on what does and does not work in their own relationship, keeping the things that do and expelling what does not.

There is no harm in being inspired by successful relationships but as you establish your relationship goals, think about what you need and want from your relationship to make it last, which of those needs and wants you cannot or will not thrive without, and those that you are okay with compromising without altering your well-being. When entering a new relationship, having realistic expectations and also knowing your partners relationship goals is important as you establish a foundation for your relationship. Being open and honest with yourself and whomever you are dating about whether or not you are able to or willing to give what they need is essential. Even if you are in an existing relationship, it is good to open those conversations with your partner from time to time revisiting the topic regarding expectations and goals. People evolve and as change takes place, individual and collective expectations, wants and needs may change as well. Making it last should definitely be a goal that is high on your relationship goals list but most importantly, having a pleasurable and peaceful relationship while lasting.

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