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  • Writer's picture April Y. Jones



Rather your relationship is thriving or in a rut, it never hurts to throw some extra love and care in the mix. Here are some tips that can get those butterflies back to fluttering or keep them active.

Get to Kissing

When I say kissing, I am not talking about a simple peck "see ya later" or "honey I'm home." Kiss long every single day. Enjoy a sensual kiss with your lover for at least 10 seconds at least once per day. If you are feeling bold go for more. In addition, planting a random soft and lingering forehead kiss might trigger a blush. It doesn't matter who initiates the KISS. Just get to kissing.

Touch Often

Get touchy feely with your lover. Random intimate touches can make a guy or girl feel wanted. Rather it's a simple butt slap in passing, finding a seat on his lap for the ladies (or gents, if you are feeling like flipping the script go for it), a gentle head rub, a random foot massage, or a pull into a warm long embrace may hype up those love flutters easily.

Get Sappy With It

Corny is good when you are growing the intimacy in your relationship. Leave some little post-it notes in random places for your lover to find. You can leave them on the mirror, in the car, on the pillow, in their lunch bag, an underwear drawer, and other places that they are sure to be seen. Pour the sentiments on thickly. You might just have your person grinning from ear to ear.

Sharpen Your Ears

Everyone wants to be heard. Listen to your person attentively when they talk. Look at them. Show interest in what they are talking about. Rather they are venting, talking about how great of a day they had, or just rambling about anything that has crossed their mind, pay attention.

Talk About Sex

People desires can change over time. If you do not know what that favorite thing is, have a conversation about it. Check in with your mates' sexual desires. Talk about your sexual likes and dislikes. Create a sex scale using 1 to 10 and rate what you love the most or least. Be open and honest. Discuss trying new things or revisit some old things that you haven't done in a while.

Have Sex

You've talked about it, now be about it. Doing that favorite sexual thing your mate loves might spark some vibes and connections that neither of you have felt in quite some time. All of the things mentioned above is four-play, add some more and get lost in each other and in the moment as you put all the talk into action.

Have Fun 

One of the most important elements to keeping a relationship healthy is to have fun together and laugh often. Go on dates, play games, share jokes. My husband (Boss) and I have created a FUN deck of cards with every couple in mind called DO-ASK-TELL. This card game is my second deck and is a must have for every couple who desires a healthy and lasting relationship. My first couples card game, Make It Last, can get your interactions going over a period of time. This game can go beyond the deck of cards and into months of bonding time.

Listen to Couples Podcasts Together

Discussing an array of topics openly with each other can foster mental intimacy for you and your person. It's great to be able to discuss light and deep topics without judgement. You learn more about each other's thoughts and feelings the more you engage in dialogue. Listening to podcast can bring not only encourage dialogue between you and your mate, but it can also inspire your relationship in healthy ways. Just be careful to only take from the podcasts what works for your relationship.

With podcasts on the popular rise, there are so many to choose from. Some of my favorites are Tab and Chance, Deadass with Khadeen and Devale Ellis and Just Being the Joneses by Yours Truly (me) and my spouse. Check out our podcast on Apple, YouTube, iHeart, Spotify and Amazon Music. Visit our website at for more information.



Listen on Apple, YouTube, iHeart, Spotify, Amazon Music


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Just Being the Joneses on IG: @justbeingthejoneses


Senoj Counseling and Therapy on IG @senoj_counselingandtherapy


  Author April Y Jones on IG: @iamaprilyolan


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